big red hearts: power

Showing posts with label power. Show all posts

The Gift Of Power

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
~ Abraham Lincoln

I know when this was spoken, Abraham Lincoln didn't have a bit more intention of it being used in a D/s context than if he could flap his arms and fly to the moon. For that matter, he may not have even known what D/s is. Nonetheless, here we are in today's society and I'm going to use his quote. As far as our lifestyle goes, this is a great quote and says a lot about a Dominant man.

Several of the blogs I follow are written by a submissive...and ones who are looking for just the right Dominant partner. They tend to know what they want and don't want in a partner. They do want him to be like this, and they don't want him to be like that. This is something I don't blame them for one single iota. They know who they are and what they want and need. They are picky, and they should be. They have every right to be. And let's face it...there are a lot of creeps and guys out there that think they can be Dominant. It looks fun to them, so they want to give it a go. In all honesty, that's scary.

I read these blogs, and I receive emails. I have given my opinion and offered my advice. (which is worth what they paid for it lol) I have interacted with a number of women over the years about this very thing. What a submissive woman has to give is a gift...the gift of herself. The man she chooses to partner with needs to be worthy of this gift. He needs to be able to handle the responsibility of it. He needs to be able to handle the pressure that is such a part of being a Dominant. He needs to know himself inside and out. He needs to know how to handle adversity as well as the laid back and easy times. He needs to be able to think logically in all situations. He needs to be able to express and share his emotions. He needs to be able read and understand his partner, and then take the appropriate action. He needs to be able and willing to love and care like there is no tomorrow. He needs to be able to learn and grow, and understand that he doesn't know everything.

That one word..."POWER"! It sounds strong. It sounds meaningful. Yet, it needs to be backed up with competency, skill, influence, and capability. Power contains potential...potential to reach a goal and keep moving forward. This is done through leadership, management, direction, and guidance. A man cannot demand power. He cannot demand to be in charge. If he does, then he will never be effective. He will never have the best outcome. Most importantly, he will never have respect of those he is attempting to place himself over.

A man should command respect and power by his actions. He should lead by example. He should show strength and fortitude to those around him. He should be willing to share his knowledge and expertise for the benefit and growth of others. He should be willing to admit his own faults, be aware of them, and make adjustments as necessary. He should be willing to admit his own limitations and try to grow beyond them. His desire to lead in this capacity should be self-evident, not self-prescribed. A man with true power will never ask for it...it will be given to him out of respect and admiration. He will never abuse this power and never ask more of others than he is wiling to do himself.

Maybe Mr Lincoln's quote should be tweaked a bit. Or maybe I'll tweak it a bit for the purpose of this post. I think it needs to be..."The true character of a man will deem whether he obtains power." In the case of D/s, this power will be given to him in the form of submission. A submissive will give him the gift of herself. She will give him the gift of power. She will only give it to the man that is deserving of such a gift. Certainly not the one that demands the gift. Only then will she be comfortable in her choice and be able to fully let go and be herself at the feet of the one she has chosen.

The Epiphany (Part 2)

Here she was feeling weak and vulnerable. She had an emotional breakdown of sorts, and she did all she knew to do...call him. What she didn't understand at the time, is in his eyes she wasn't weak and vulnerable. She was gaining strength. She was finding herself. She was on a journey of discovery, and, well...that is just what she was doing...discovering herself. This man was enabling her to see a side of herself she had never seen. She was feeling emotions about him and about what she had been experiencing like she had never felt for anyone. She reached down deep and reached out to him. She needed help and needed guidance. There was no one else with whom she could talk. No one else would understand. But in her heart she knew she didn't want to talk with someone else. She wanted him all along. She reached out and he showed up. That in itself spoke volumes to her.

When he approached she had fear in her eyes. How could she feel so much? How could she feel about him the way she does? Why is all this coming down on her in one big crashing wave? Why is she so willing to do anything for this man? She's never had anyone she was willing to do absolutely anything with or for...but she would do anything this man asked or required of her, without question. Why? She didn't understand, but she knew he would. She knew he could guide her through this. That is what he has told her he would do...guide and lead, and help her through anything and everything. She was seeing this in him. He wasn't just words. He was much, much more. This was part of what had her so emotional. She knew he was much more. He was everything she had ever wanted. He was everything she had ever dreamed about. Being with him was like being in another universe. One where everything else was gone and nothing else mattered. It was just the two of them together. She had never been with anyone that made her feel as important and special as he did. He had swept her off her feet and she knew it. The best part was he didn't even go out of his way to do any of this. He was just being himself. She had never met anyone like him, and knew there was a good chance she never would again.

He asked her to tell him what she was feeling...going through her head...what was catching her off guard. She knew she had called him out here. She was the one that needed to talk. She knew that he would make her talk. That was the most important thing in the world to this man...being able to openly have a conversation about anything, good or bad. She wasn't used to being this open. She never had anyone she felt comfortable enough being around to be that open. That's just another thing on her list. With him she felt that comfortable. She felt like she could tell him anything. She had already told him more and let him see inside of her like no one else ever had. Yet, when asked what was wrong, although she wanted to speak, nothing would come out. She stopped and started several times. There was so much she didn't even know where to start.

Finally she began talking and explaining and asking questions. He would listen and answer, listen and answer. He would ask his own questions and give responses to her answers. He would tell stories and give scenarios and make jokes. They had a serious conversation, one that could possibly even be seen as life altering, yet it was kept light and flowed well. She felt at ease. She felt comfort. She remembered and knew exactly why she called him to talk. Exactly why she has opened up to him the way she has done. He actually listens to her. He remembers things about her. He doesn't look down or talk down to her. They talk as if they are equals. Her views, her thoughts, her opinions...they matter. She has a voice and she knows it will be heard. Yet, at the same time, she respects and wants his voice, opinions and guidance. He doesn't have to do what she says or what she wants. She knows that. But he listens, he pays attention, he cares, and he always takes it into account. She would do anything he said and follow him anywhere without question or hesitation. Yet, he still cares enough to make her important and a priority in his life. He doesn't take advantage of her and her feelings. He doesn't take her for granted. He may be Dominant and he may have power and control, and she may love that and give every ounce of herself to him in every...but in the end he treats her as his partner. As they are in this together side by side.

Why was this happening? What had she done to deserve this? Why was she so special? She was finally realizing that none of the answers to these questions mattered. He was into her for being her. It was her that he cared for. It was her that he wanted to be with. It was her that he wanted to lead and guide and have by his side. The more they talked the more she realized what she was really feeling. The more she realized how much she really does need him. How much she can't stand the thought of being without him. The ultimate epiphany for her was facing and accepting that she loved this man with all she had. She had fallen for him, and fallen hard. Yet, the landing was soft. Why? Because he was there to catch her. He always told her if she fell he would be there to ease the landing and catch her, and he was. She trusted him unequivocally. She would trust this man with her very life. There were things he could say to her and make her melt on the spot. He could make her instantly aroused with one sentence, and bring her to her knees in another. But nothing he ever said could make her as weak or affect her and make her feel like the way he was about to do. Nothing had ever even come close. He knew how she felt. She didn't even have to come right out and say it, because he knew. He always knows. He knows her better than she knows herself sometimes. Then in one motion he gently placed his hands on the sides of her head, he pulled her in and held her so tight, and then leaned down and out of nowhere whispered in her ear..."I love you too baby!"

The Epiphany (Part 1)

The look in her eyes was one of being scared. It was one of wanting and needing so much. It was one of begging for reassurance and explanation. It was evident she has entered new territory like she had never felt before. She had never been treated the way he treated her. Like she was important. Like she was a priority. Like she mattered. She was getting all from him she had ever dreamed about and wanted. Love...care...respect...control...freedom to let go and be herself. She had never been able to show anyone all sides of herself. She had always been guarded and put up barricades. Only certain people saw certain sides of her, but no one had ever been inside those walls and seen all of her.

He was like no one she had ever met before. She never knew she could feel so comfortable and free with someone. She knew he loved her by his actions and his words. But this was different...he was different. He was touching her in places and ways no one ever had. He was in her head. He was in her heart. He was in her every breath. She felt him from the top of her head to the tips of her fingers and toes and everywhere in between, as he ran through her body in unison with her own flow of blood. He was consuming her entire being. This was so new to her. It was scary to be this consumed. Her logical mind told her this just can't be. Her emotions told her to embrace it with all she had. And that's just what she was doing. Logic was slowly coming around. She was beginning to believe this could be real. It could be more than just a dream. Reality could be this good.

She was feeling overwhelmed with emotions. She was unsure just what was happening. She had never felt this rush of so many things at one time. She had that moment where it all clicked and all came together. She had an epiphany where it all began to make sense. This was cemented in her psyche with what followed. They had just spent an afternoon together having orgasm after orgasm. She had given herself to him...she was his. She was discovering what it is like to let go...to be herself, and accept all he has to offer her. He hadn't pushed too hard, just small nudges in the right direction. He made her feel things on a level she hadn't felt at any time in her life. Even normal vanilla activities seemed to be much different and better. How can this be? How can he make her feel this way? What was happening to her? He had a power and control over her. One that no one had ever had over her, and certainly one that she never let anyone have previously. Yet, she wanted him to have it. She needed him to have it. She had needed this her whole life and didn't even know it. Now it was sinking in. But why? Why now? The reason...because he pointed it out. He asked her point blank..."Do you know how much control and power I have over you and your body?"

This didn't really begin to sink in until her drive home. Then, just as if she had driven her car straight into a brick wall, it smacked her right in the face full force. The emotions of all they had were bubbling up. She loved him and she was admitting that to herself. She truly needed him, and she was finally admitting that. She felt things for him she couldn't even describe. She was beginning to really be able to understand much of what he had been telling her. She could feel it in her chest like a weight pressing down. All that did was confirm her trust and belief in him. What he had told her was right. What he had told her was coming true. He had told her that certain things you can't truly understand until you are there, feel them, and experience them for yourself. It was now making more sense. She was understanding. And most of all, she knew he was right...he did have more power and control over her than she even came close to admitting and realizing. The most odd part to her was that she wanted that. She wanted him to have that control. She had never wanted anyone to have control of her, but him...with him...she wanted him to have it all. She needed to give herself to him and be his as much as she needs water to survive. On this ride home, all of this came to the surface and came bubbling out. She broke down. It was too much. It was overwhelming. How could this one man bring out so much in her, she thought?

What was she going to do? How would she deal with this? How could she possibly process all of this? She did the only thing she knew to possibly do...she picked up the phone and called him. She said how much she missed and needed him, and needed to talk. If it wasn't too inconvenient, she needed to see him again...now. She shouldn't have been surprised when he said he would be happy to. When he said he was on his way and would be there in 15 minutes. When she saw him, it was a relief...a joy...a release. She needed him and he came to her. She wasn't used to that. She wasn't used to someone showing her how important she is, or at least feeling that way. She needed him right now more than ever, and he came without hesitation. He was there for her just like he said he would be. Once again he backed his words with his actions. She was seeing now more than ever how important she was to him as well. He really was there to take care of her, guide her, and protect her. She could feel it. She knew it. It wasn't just words. He meant what he said.

(to be continued)